thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
