Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
