What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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