She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
