She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
