what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
