I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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