somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
