I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
