Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
