well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize