hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize
