FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
