exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
