Porn is love you can see.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
