I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
