My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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