He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
