just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
