she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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