alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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