I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
