I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
