Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
