whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The best revenge is premature balding
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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