great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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