wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize