STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
