Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
