Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
