he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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