He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I still have a little drunk in my system
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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