google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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