At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
