you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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