is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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