so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
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