don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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