their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
