You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
