oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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