You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
And then he peed in my hair
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