and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
