I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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