The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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