I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize