We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
