Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
smell my finger.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize