these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
