Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
