guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
