The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
