I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm really busy with my period
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