Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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