did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
