I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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