My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
