I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
