I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize