Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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