See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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