My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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