I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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