what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
