I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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