Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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