I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize