yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
