I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
