sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
