rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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