Got a toothbrush?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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