its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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