Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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