Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
