something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
