wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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