oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
