I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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